Read or watch the news for longer than a few minutes every day and you could easily be forgiven for thinking that there is little for us to be optimistic about, and if you understood where I was coming from with that statement, then you might want be about to change your mind about the truth of it.
Conventional thinking says that optimism is related to the circumstances of the time. Live in a time of pandemic and lockdowns, you will be pessimistic, live in a time of abundance, you will be optimistic. That’s not quite how it works though.
Humans find themselves on a spectrum, with complete pessimism at one extreme and complete optimism at the other. The complete pessimist thinks that nothing good will ever happen, and the complete optimist ALWAYS anticipates success. The states of mind are to a large degree independent of the circumstances.
Research has shown that optimists are healthier, more focused, and more successful in their careers than pessimists. That isn’t to say it is all good. A student who is too far to the extreme of optimist might think that they will never fail regardless of how little work they do, and for God’s sake don’t hand your pension fund over to the care of an optimist extremist, it might work but then again….
A good state to aim for is something called flexible optimism
Flexible optimism is when an individual learns how to be optimistic, and also develops the ability to apply it in situations when it is of benefit. It means that you don’t have to be subject to the oppressive weight of pessimism, or the reckless abandonment of unbridled optimism.
One method which can help to develop flexible optimism is to learn how to argue with yourself. Not out loud in public, that would be bad…very bad, but in the privacy of your own mind. When a pessimistic thought occurs such as, “I’m never going to get this job’’, ask yourself for evidence to support that statement. It probably won’t be there. But what if the evidence is there? Well that is an opportunity to de-catastrophise. Not getting the job doesn’t have to be the end of the world, it can be an opportunity for a better job at a better company. Over time, challenging a pessimistic narrative is life-enhancing and widens the horizons.
As a coach and Positive Psychology Practitioner, I get to use this approach in a formal setting and the results are excellent. As a parent, family member or friend, you can encourage this development tool by talking things through with your child or loved-one, and maybe you will both benefit from increased optimism, and all the other benefits that come from communicating with those we love.